When was the last time you felt tempted to walk away from someone who thinks differently than you? Maybe they had opposing political views, communicated in ways that frustrated you, or prioritized values that didn't align with yours. In a world that feels increasingly polarized, it's tempting to believe that drawing hard lines and protecting our territory is the only way forward.
"I just don't think it's necessary to burn bridges," explained
, President and CEO of the Columbus Metropolitan Club, when we interviewed her recently. "We live in a community with diverse people who have diverse perspectives. We need all of us."This isn't doesn’t mean we should bypass hard truths or pretend that everything is okay. Rather, it’s about recognizing that when we dehumanize others, we chip away at our own humanity too. So how do we stay engaged with others — especially those who challenge us the most — without burning out or lashing out?
These three practical tools offer a place to begin:
Different Paths To Change: Bridge-building starts when we recognize that not all activism looks the same. The most sustainable change comes when we engage in ways that honor our natural tendencies rather than forcing ourselves into roles that deplete us. Ask yourself which forms of civic engagement feel energizing rather than depleting. You might naturally be drawn to creating spaces for dialogue, sharing knowledge, or modeling sustainable engagement for others. The key insight? Your most powerful contributions will come when you're working with—not against—your authentic self.
Find Your Spark: The SPARK framework offers a way to check in with yourself before engaging with challenging conversations or advocacy work. By reflecting on your Strengths, Passions, Approach, Resources, and Knowledge gaps, you can identify where your natural energy lies. This self-awareness helps you contribute from a place of authenticity rather than obligation. When you engage from this centered place, you're more likely to build genuine connections—even with those who see the world differently—because you're coming from a place of integrity.
Creating Compassionate Connections: When disagreements arise, our brains are wired with a compassion bias that makes it difficult to extend empathy to those we see as different from us. Breaking through this bias starts with a simple practice: pausing to center yourself, then getting curious about what you might share with the other person beneath the surface-level differences. It might be similar values, experiences, joys, or hopes. These points of connection—even seemingly small ones—can create just enough space for dialogue. The practice doesn't eliminate differences but creates a foundation of shared humanity from which more productive conversations become possible.
So, what if we built bridges instead of burning them? We'd still stand up for what matters. We'd still set healthy boundaries. But we'd do it without losing sight of each other—or ourselves. Because at the end of the day, we don't need more division in our communities — we need more compassionate connection so we can stay in conversation and continue learning and growing together.
For more of Sophia's wonderful work, visit her website or subscribe to her Substack newsletter, The Advocate Next Door where she writes about civic wellness, community engagement, and how women can use their voices for good.
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