When have you led with curiosity, compassion, clarity and calm? How have you shown up to challenging situations with courage, creativity, confidence, and connection? When your Self - with a capital S as identified in Internal Family Systems (IFS) practices - is present, what makes this wiser and kinder state possible?
“We are all born with a Self who emerges when our brains are free and integrated,” explained psychologist Dr. Tori Olds, co-founder of Deep Eddy Psychotherapy, when we interviewed her for a podcast recently. “While each of our Selves may be unique in some ways, there are eight capacities that are universally possessed: curiosity, compassion, clarity, calm, courage, creativity, confidence, and connectedness. In IFS we call these the 8Cs of Self.”
“Unfortunately, the reason we don't always have access to these qualities is because we've overridden our natural state with conditioned ways of being - like being taught to be ‘good girls’,” cautioned Tori. “So we need to re-discover our capacities for Self-leadership.”
Internal Family Systems researchers suggest that we can spend more time connecting with our Self energy through:
Meditation: Set aside time regularly to meditate and focus on your 8C Self qualities. This can help you to develop a stronger connection with the wisdom and kindness that resides within you and improve your ability to access these qualities as you navigate life.
Journalling: Create the space to reflect about experiences of being Self led, noting when you feel connected or disconnected from your wisdom and kindness. This practice can help you track your progress and identify patterns or triggers related to sustaining your Self connection.
Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or body scans, into your daily routine to help you stay present and connected with your Self energy. This can help you reset when needed.
Visualization: Experiment with visualization techniques to imagine your Self energy as a source of light, warmth, wisdom, or kindness within you. As you breathe, imagine this energy expanding to fill you entire body and radiate outward, reinforcing your connection to Self.
We took away so many aha insights and practical tools from our recent podcast with Tori that we’ve recorded an after-party podcast to dive deeper into how you can strengthen your Self-leadership. Just hit play above to join us.
If you need more support from an Internal Family Systems trained coach or therapist you can find them by clicking here.
Please note: We are mindful that ‘girl’ and ‘woman’ are socially constructed ideas of gender that can fall painfully short of defining the fabulous complexity of who we each are. If these words resonate with part of how you have previously or currently identified yourself, we’d love to hear about your lived experiences.
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