By Evie Wright
Growing up, we didn’t really do uncomfortable conversations in my family.
If tension brewed, we went quiet. If feelings were hurt, walls went up. Everything got swept neatly under the rug, and life rolled on like nothing happened.
It wasn’t that anyone was cruel. My family are fun, hilarious, big-hearted people who love a good time. The music was always on, friends dropping by, laughter spilling out of the house. But when things got hard, we didn’t talk about it. Silence just felt safer than honesty.
For years, the script I carried with me was simple: don’t ruin a good thing.
I learnt to avoid saying what was really going on if I thought it might upset someone. I’d soften my words so they landed lighter. I’d laugh something off, even when it hurt. I’d keep busy doing the things no one else wanted to do, instead of admitting I was tired or didn’t want to do them.
At some point, though, the weight of silence started to feel heavier than the risk of speaking. So, very awkwardly at first, I began to practice saying the things I would have once swallowed.
I remember the first time I brought something up with my parents that I’d been carrying for years. My voice wobbled and my words tumbled out messily. But they didn’t shut me down, they stayed with me. They didn’t always know what to say, but because they loved me, they stumbled through it with me.
It was in no shape or form - neat. There were long silences. There were tears. But by the end of it, we’d found each other on the other side of something hard. And we felt closer for it.
That changed something for me. I realized that by avoiding the tough conversations, I wasn’t actually protecting anyone - I was just keeping us from really knowing each other. Speaking up, even when it was messy, gave us a chance to see more of who we really are.
These days, if I bring something up with the folks, they’ll laugh and say, “Alright, here we go with the therapist talk.” We laugh, and that laughter eases us into the tough bits.
I’ve realized we’re not meant to keep everything light and easy. Sometimes the good thing actually get better when we risk the uncomfortable conversations together.
Join us in grabbing an Oxytocin Shot - a tool you can use before, during or after an uncomfortable conversation to quickly ease feelings of anxiety or stress. Just click below to begin.
Want more? Join us for the launch of our Parents, Carers & Educators Pack, where we'll walk you through the tools (storybook, beautifully designed somatic cards, teaching guide, and video) that help girls stay connected to themselves while navigating a world that tells them to be ‘good girls’. If you can't attend live, don't worry - you'll receive the recording. But this live celebration is happening just once at the end of September 2025, and spaces are limited, so grab your place now.
Please note: We are mindful that 'girl' and 'woman' are socially constructed ideas of gender that can fall painfully short of defining the fabulous complexity of who we each are. If these words resonate with part of how you have previously or currently identified yourself, we'd love to hear about your lived experiences.
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