The 'Good Girl' Statistics
1,000+ Australian Women Share Their Experiences
For generations, society has taught women and girls that their value is measured by their ability to perform perfectly, please everyone around them, and protect others from discomfort—often at the expense of their own needs. This systematic conditioning begins early, with studies showing that by age eleven, many girls have already internalized these expectations.
Our research across 1,000 Australian women reveals a troubling pattern: 65% feel pressured to be the ‘good girl’ others expect, with this burden falling most heavily on younger generations. The impact of this conditioning extends beyond momentary stress—it fundamentally shapes women's relationship with themselves and others, affecting their relationships, sense of purpose, and energy levels.
This report examines how these expectations manifest across different age groups revealing both concerning patterns and pathways toward greater wellbeing. By quantifying these experiences, we aim to validate what many women have felt intuitively: that the pursuit of ‘goodness’ on others' terms exacts a real and measurable toll.
Our findings suggest that freedom lies not in rejecting responsibility or connection, but in reclaiming the right to define one's own worth. Through self-compassion, healthy boundaries, and courageous self-expression, women can break free from limiting expectations and discover what it means to be uniquely themselves.
This path forward, though, faces powerful resistance from institutions that benefit from women's conditioning. Families often praise girls for compliance rather than courage. Workplaces regularly promote those who sacrifice wellbeing for productivity. Media consistently portrays boundary-setting as indulgent or selfish. These connected systems make individual liberation difficult without collective effort to challenge the structures that profit from ‘good girl’ behaviors.
Key Findings
👭 THE COST OF CONFORMITY: 65% of women feel pressured to be the "good girl" others expect, with this burden nearly twice as heavy on younger generations. Women who constantly strive to meet others' expectations report significantly higher resentment about their sacrifices, creating an exhausting cycle of conformity followed by growing frustration, yet continuing the pattern out of fear.
💔 THE PERFECTIONISM PARADOX: 78% of women strive for perfection to avoid criticism. What begins as external performance becomes internalized judgment, creating a voice that constantly whispers "not good enough." Only 18% of women regularly show self-compassion when struggling. This self-kindness emerges as a powerful antidote, breaking the cycle not by lowering standards, but by changing our relationship with imperfection.
🙏🏽 THE PEOPLE-PLEASING DRAIN: 78% of women prioritize others before themselves to avoid rejection. This constant giving without replenishment leads to chronic depletion, with data showing a direct link between people-pleasing and exhaustion. Setting boundaries, while initially uncomfortable, preserves vital energy by honoring personal needs alongside others'—a skill that visibly strengthens with age, as women over 55 are twice as likely to set boundaries.
🤬 THE PROTECTION BURDEN: 67% of women silence their true feelings to avoid abandonment. This self-erasure creates a disconnection from meaning, with data showing a clear negative relationship between self-silencing and purpose. Conversely, speaking up when needed—practiced regularly by only 22% of women—creates a reciprocal relationship between courage and purpose: each act of truth-telling strengthens both voice and vision.
Please note: We are mindful that 'girl' and 'woman' are socially constructed ideas of gender that can fall painfully short of defining the fabulous complexity of who we each are. If these words resonate with part of how you have previously or currently identified yourself, we'd love to hear about your lived experiences.
Want More?
📊 MEASURE YOUR ‘GOOD GIRL’ CONDITIONING
The Good Girl Mindset Survey can help you uncover how society’s ‘good girl’ expectations are impacting your wellbeing. In just a few minutes, you’ll get personalized insights that reveal where you’re thriving, where you’re holding back, and what you can do next to break free. Take the survey now.
📚 DISCOVER THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT BOOKS
If you’ve ever felt pressured to be good, The Perfectly Imperfect Women’s Journal and The Perfectly Imperfect Companion Workbook will help you break free. With real stories, research-backed insights, and powerful exercises, these books will give you the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and step into your own power. It’s time to rewrite the rules and start living on your terms. Get your copies now.
💃 BECOMING UNIQUELY YOU
Break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-doubt with the Uniquely You Workshop & Tools Bundle. Through three powerful workshops, you’ll gain the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and lead with authenticity. With lifetime access, you can move at your own pace and start making real change today. Start your journey now.