Can you shake off your 'good girl' beliefs?
YOUR STORIES | How women around the world are shaking themselves free.
I stepped through the studio doors alongside eleven other women, the air thick with a shared, unspoken anticipation. Nervous energy trailed behind us as we silently took our seats, waiting for the facilitator to initiate the sacred beginning of our yoga teacher training.
“My body is not flexible enough.”
“What could I possibly contribute, when the world is already saturated with yoga teachers?”
“I’m nervous in groups. What if I let my classmates down?”
These old stories swirled in my mind, my inner 'good girl' clinging tightly to the scripts society had woven into my being since I was child.
I closed my eyes and drew in a grounding breath, recalling the stories of the women around the world from our 'Shake It Off' challenge. Each embodying their own fierce grace as they rose against the narratives that no longer served them as they shook off. You told us:
As my breath softened, so did the stories. The narrative began to shift.
“I am worthy.”
“I am allowed to take up space.”
“My unique essence is an offering to the practice, and those who resonate with it will find me.”
The exhale brought with it a sense of unfolding, as if I were remembering what had always been true.
As activist Sonya Renee Taylor notes, when we’re surrounded by messages that tell us how we should think, feel, and act, it can be hard to trust what our body knows to be the truth. Before we understand what is happening, we often buy into lies that benefit the people spreading these messages, but usually come at our cost. Freedom is found in our curiosity and compassion to spot these lies for what they are, to choose to shake them off, and to share with each other the lie rather than continue propagating it.
We can shake off the world’s ‘good girl’ expectations in many ways—physically, emotionally, socially, and behaviorally. For example, studies have found that shaking our bodies activates our parasympathetic nervous system and signals to our brain that it is okay to relax, release the toxins these ideas create in our bodies, and let them go.
Of course, shaking off centuries of ‘good girl’ conditioning also requires systemic changes — equal pay, accessible childcare, reproductive rights, and stronger protections against sexual assault and domestic violence. These shifts are crucial for creating a safer, more equitable world for everyone.
To sustain our energy in pushing for these changes, we must also focus on whatever freedom is immediately within our reach. Spotting the ‘good girl’ beliefs that don’t serve us well, choosing to shake them off, and sharing them with each other is something every single one of us can do. As Glennon Doyle wisely said: “There’s no such thing as one-way liberation.”
Thank you to all the incredible women who showed up alongside us over the past few weeks to share how you’re shaking off your ‘good girl’ beliefs. Your willingness to reveal the raw, unpolished parts of your journey creates ripples of courage in spaces like this.
It reminds us that vulnerability is not just a personal act but a communal offering—an invitation for others to rise alongside us.
If you’re ready to shake off your ‘good girl’ beliefs it’s not too late. Join the challenge by clicking here.
Please note: We are mindful that ‘girl’ and ‘woman’ are socially constructed ideas of gender that can fall painfully short of defining the fabulous complexity of who we each are. If these words resonate with part of how you have previously or currently identified yourself, we’d love to hear about your lived experiences.